ComedyNovember 20, 2007 11:31 am
Found this on the Times website, worth visiting and scrolling through
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article2884585.ece.
I love them. Like a well worn pair of trainers I’m comfortable with them. They work. Usually, brilliantly. The families like the novelty of a witty Vicar who intertwines profound biblical teaching and comedy. That would be me! But the natives are growing restless. The congregational members who traipse the length and breadth of the country attending the weddings of friends are dying for some new material. So this post is more of a plea than anything. In exchange I offer the two funniest lines from recent weddings. I’d put them in the thigh slapping category.
The first was from the best man about the groom. The names have been changed to protect reputations! The best man said, ‘Bill’s first job was working in ASDA. So I went back to talk to his colleagues. I asked them what they thought he’d be when he left. They said, ‘…65′!
The second was from the father of the bride who up until the moment of this gag had been playing it safe. Speaking of his daughter’s marriage he said, ‘I look upon it not so much as losing a daughter as … gaining a bedroom!’
This one isn’t strictly a wedding gag but it’s just too good not to include. In our children’s slot yesterday we looked at Psalm 42:1 ‘As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you O God’. Someone said they used to belong to a church where the preacher actually said, ‘this verse is telling us that in our spiritual life we need bigger stronger pants!’
ComedyMarch 2, 2007 11:58 am
Apparently, according to http://www.blogthings.com/howrareisyourpersonalityquiz/
my personality type is very rare. After extensive research it has concluded that I’m, and I quote, ‘optimistic, curious, enthusiastic, and open’.
I’m reliably informed that,
‘Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 5% of all men’.
You have no idea how relieved I am to discover I have more in common with men than with women…
The experts tell me that,
‘You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving’.
Go figure! Who’d have thought it!
Still think this one is better
http://richardperkins.blogsome.com/2006/12/18/theological-worldview-quiz/
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Try this out! http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=43870 This is what it made of me! You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God’s Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die. |
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