Jonah is perhaps one of the only books of the Minor Prophets people have heard of. These days if we were to ask people in Balham whether they’d heard of Micah, Obadiah or Zephaniah they might think we were talking about our children such are the names we choose to give them! On the whole the 12 Minor Prophets, so called not because they’re insignificant but because they’re short, labour in obscurity. But not this one. Jonah enjoys a little more of the limelight. But the reason is not because he warrants it but because he’s been upstaged by an unspecified aquatic dweller. This is the story of a man who’s said to have had a whale of a time. Sorry about that!

It’s this detail that provokes the glint of recognition in those who may know nothing more about the content of this tale. In truth most people find that the existence of a man eating fish is enough to confirm their suspicion that Christianity is a collection of fun stories for the kids but has nothing to say to the adult population. But as I hope we’ll see, God has given us this book so that we’d learn something very important. It’s a book all about God’s compassion for the world. Jonah is the true story of a man commanded by God to take the announcement of impending judgement to the wicked gentile city of Nineveh so that God could save them.

The incidents recorded make it seem as though there’s something a little fishy about it. That’s the last, I promise! As unusual as they sound, these events happened. That’s Jesus take on it because in Matthew 12 Jesus described these events as a miraculous sign. 

It’s a wonderfully crafted account with twists and turns as we read the narrative. I’d encourage you to read it for yourselves. The book of Jonah is a single story in which each chapter forms an act in his experience.

• Jonah 1 focuses on his flight
• Jonah 2 focuses on his prayer
• Jonah 3 focuses on his mission
• Jonah 4 focuses on his anger

In chapter 1 we read about Jonah’s flight from the Lord’s commission.

1. The Lord commissioned Jonah (1-3)

In these verses the writer introduces us to the chief protagonists in the unfolding story, the requirement that God placed upon His prophet and the situation around which the story revolves. With the minimum of detail we’re introduced to three essential facts

a. First, Jonah received the word of the Lord (1)

1:1 Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying,

Jonah is the principle human actor in the book that bears his name. He is Jonah, the son of Amittai. He’s mentioned only once in the rest of the Old Testament, in 2 Kings 14:25. From there we learn that He is the prophet of God’s mercy. He ministered during the reign of Jeroboam II, a king of whom it’s reported, ‘he did evil in the eyes of the Lord’. Nevertheless rather than speak out a negative word of judgement God sent Jonah to speak a word of mercy to Israel. He promised the expansion of the Kingdom of God. And so we begin to ask which word will God give him to preach?

b. Secondly, Jonah was to declare the judgment of the Lord (2)

2 “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.”

Jonah received an unambiguous invitation to take part in a great spiritual adventure for the Lord. But it was an invitation few would welcome. God required him to preach in Nineveh, the capital city of Israel’s principal enemy of the time, Assyria. The great and important city of Nineveh was the symbol of powerful pagan pride and arrogance. She was unjust, oppressive and profoundly distasteful. Jonah had to go to Nineveh because he had a word of the Lord’s condemnation for that great pagan city. He was to denounce her wickedness which had come to the Lord’s attention. God is not concerned exclusively for the nation of Israel. He is the creator of the whole world and so He’s the judge of all the earth. Just as the wickedness of Nineveh provoked the Lord to speak against them so too the wickedness of this great pagan city attracts the condemnation of God. Do we really think that the wickedness of London will escape God’s attention?

c. Thirdly, Jonah fled from the presence of the Lord (3)

3 But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went on board, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.

Jonah arose alright but it was to go 180 degrees in the wrong direction. Instead of heading east over the desert to Nineveh he headed west over the sea to Tarshish. His response comes like a bolt from the blue. It shouldn’t happen like this. Prophets don’t do this. Sure some of them had issues with what the Lord asked them to do and they needed a bit of divine hand holding to get them through it. But Jonah is unique in actually having the audacity to disobey God’s word. Twice we’re told that he fled to get away from the presence of the Lord but what a futile endeavour. If ever there was a wasted journey this was it.

There may be some here this evening who are running away from the Lord. Where are we going to go? How will we hide? We’re completely deluded if we think we can outrun God and conceal ourselves from His presence.

The reason for Jonah’s disobedience is withheld from us at this stage. It’s part of the narrative tension that’s not resolved until chapter 4. All we know, at this stage, is that he doesn’t fancy it. There’s something about what God has commissioned him to do that he simply cannot stomach.

For those of us who are Christians here this evening we need to recall the risen Christ’s words of commission in Matthew 28. He has commanded us to make disciples of all nations as we teach them to obey all that he has commanded. It doesn’t matter who we are and how long we’ve been at it most of us struggle in evangelism. My mouth still dries up, my stomach turns itself in knots, I stammer over my words and I can’t remember which picture of Two ways to Live comes next! When I was on mission with the Cornhill Training Course a friend decided that he had to take me out door knocking. I’d never done this before but he knew all he had to do was accuse me of smelling of the foul stench of weakness to get me onboard. He explained the technique of instigating a spiritual conversation and gave me a few openers. I knocked on the door and was greeted by an elderly lady. I opened with the words ‘have you ever thought about your death?’ To her credit she responded with great kindness and we had a useful conversation. But it’s reassuring isn’t it that the Lord can use even our failures for his purposes!

Very few of us relish the responsibility of trying to explain to suspicious, cynical and perhaps hostile friends all that the Lord has commanded. We all feel that the task is one from which we’d prefer to run in the other direction but as we’ll see this cannot be a serious option for the followers of Jesus Christ.

2. The Lord pursued Jonah (4-16)

In these verses the writer explains what happened as his disobedient prophet attempted to flee from His presence. Three events occur in the unfolding drama.

a. First, Jonah was identified as the cause of God’s anger (4-7)

4 But the Lord hurled a great wind upon the sea, and there was a mighty tempest on the sea, so that the ship threatened to break up. 5 Then the mariners were afraid, and each cried out to his god. And they hurled the cargo that was in the ship into the sea to lighten it for them. But Jonah had gone down into the inner part of the ship and had lain down and was fast asleep. 6 So the captain came and said to him, “What do you mean, you sleeper? Arise, call out to your god! Perhaps the god will give a thought to us, that we may not perish.” 7 And they said to one another, “Come, let us cast lots, that we may know on whose account this evil has come upon us.” So they cast lots, and the lot fell on Jonah.

God did not stand idly by whilst the reluctant evangelist headed of across the Mediterranean. He sent a storm as the agent of His judgement on Jonah’s rebellion. Such was the ferocity of this storm that the seasoned mariners assumed the ship was about to be destroyed. The Lord hurled a great wind at the sea and they hurled anything they could lay their hands on into the sea. If it wasn’t tied down it was going overboard. It’s a comical scene. In contrast to the frenzied activity of the sailors Jonah was in a deep slumber. But he must have thought he was in a nightmare as he was woken by the ship’s captain with similar words to those with which God had called him a few days earlier. But by the end of this scene we’re left in no doubt as to who is to blame.

b. Secondly, Jonah was compelled to witness to the Lord’s character (8-10)

8 Then they said to him, “Tell us on whose account this evil has come upon us. What is your occupation? And where do you come from? What is your country? And of what people are you?” 9 And he said to them, “I am a Hebrew, and I fear the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land.” 10 Then the men were exceedingly afraid and said to him, “What is this that you have done!” For the men knew that he was fleeing from the presence of the Lord, because he had told them.

Jonah was forced to speak. Having discovered that their predicament was his fault Jonah was deluged by a barrage of questions from the sailors. His response is the first words we hear from him. He gave, in essence, a very brief gospel outline. ‘I am a Hebrew, and I fear the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land’. He declared that Israel’s God is the Lord of all. He is the ultimate God in the heavens since He is the world’s creator. His words were true it’s just that they seem out of place coming from him. Nothing that happens before or after in this chapter gives any indication that his confession was anything but an empty cliché. Trying to get this from Jonah was like trying to get blood out of a stone there is no way that this could have been the conviction of his heart. It was just a mere theological formula on his lips.

c. Thirdly, Jonah was abandoned to face God’s wrath

11 Then they said to him, “What shall we do to you, that the sea may quiet down for us?” For the sea grew more and more tempestuous. 12 He said to them, “Pick me up and hurl me into the sea; then the sea will quiet down for you, for I know it is because of me that this great tempest has come upon you.” 13 Nevertheless, the men rowed hard to get back to dry land, but they could not, for the sea grew more and more tempestuous against them. 14 Therefore they called out to the Lord, “O LORD, let us not perish for this man’s life, and lay not on us innocent blood, for you, O LORD, have done as it pleased you.” 15 So they picked up Jonah and hurled him into the sea, and the sea ceased from its raging. 16 Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows.

The sailors desperately pressed Jonah for a solution to their plight. He realised that God’s anger would be satisfied only by his death. And so he abandoned himself to the sea, the agent of the Lord’s judgement. There’s no hint of remorse, no prayer and no repentance. This is not a gallant act of self sacrifice to save the sailors from their death. It was his choice and this perverse man would rather go to his death and face the Lord’s anger than repent of his disobedience. So unpalatable did he find what God had asked him to do that he was prepared to engage in this extreme and ultimately nonsensical reaction. We leave the story with him sinking to his death.

Conclusion

There are three actors in this story from whom we must learn.

1. First, there’s Jonah

Jonah moves progressively away from the Lord as the drama unfolds. At the beginning he’s introduced to us as the prophet of God but by the end of the chapter such is his vehement opposition to God’s plans that he would rather face death than participate in the process of preaching to Nineveh. His appalling, rebellious disobedience led him to experience God’s severe discipline. At the end of (16), which is the end of the chapter in the Jewish Bible, we’re not sure what’s going to happen. There’s no explicit warning that if we fail to share and engage in God’s passion to reach the nations we’ll experience something similar. But do you want to take the risk? We’d be foolish to rule it out.

2. Secondly, there’s the sailors

As events unfold they move progressively closer to the Lord. Their godless fear of the storm in (4) is transformed into a godly fear of the Lord in (16). The acknowledgement and worship of the Lord in the end comes from a most unexpected source. The pagan sailors are the human success story and not the Lord’s prophet. They do the sensible thing and respond to the preaching of the gospel in repentance and faith. Though their actions described for us in (16) are unfamiliar to us they express their heartfelt devotion to the Lord they discovered in the gospel. There may be some of us today who appear like the most unlikely candidates for conversion. We’re encouraged to learn from the example of these sailors.

3. Thirdly, there’s God

He’s the principal actor. Primarily this chapter tells us what happens when God speaks. Not even the disobedience of His prophet can frustrate the plan of God to have compassion on Gentile sinners. By this stage of the story the Ninevites are no better off but there’s a ship load of pagan sailors who’ve been saved. God has a heart for the nations and he gladly welcomes them into His Kingdom. We’ll see it supremely in the Ninevite revival in chapter 3. It’s hinted at in the Lord’s appointment of a prophet to denounce their wickedness. Implicit in the declaration of judgement is the opportunity for the repentance the Lord longs to see from all that He has made. God will save people despite us. His plan to bring salvation to those whom He has chosen is not going to be shipwrecked by the disobedience of His servants. Trying to work against God’s is like trying to stop a freight train with our hands. I don’t know whether you’ve seen the film, the Incredibles but there’s a great scene where Mr Incredible tries to halt an oncoming train to prevent it falling through a gaping chasm in the tracks. It’s fictional of course but it took loads of effort. It makes much more sense to jump onboard, to go in the same direction as God is travelling and enjoy the ride.

The last talk in a series of four entitled, ‘God, Sex and Relationships’. Philip Jensens’ talks, Not Even a Hint by Josh Harris and several other articles, books and sermons will, no doubt, have found their way into this material.  

In CS Lewis’ book the Great Divorce he tells a fictitious story about a ghost of a man afflicted by lust. Lust is incarnated in the form of a red lizard that sits on his shoulder and whispers seductively in his ear. When the man despairs about the lizard, an angel offers to kill it for him. But the ghost is torn between loving his lust and wanting it to die. He fears that the death of the lust will kill him. He makes excuse after excuse to the angle, trying to keep the lizard he says he doesn’t want. Finally the man agrees to let the angel seize and kill the lizard. The angel grasps the reptile, breaks its neck, and throws it to the ground. Once the spell of lust is broken, the ghostly man is gloriously remade into a real and solid being. And the lizard, rather than dying, is transformed into a breathtaking stallion. Weeping tears of joy and gratitude, the man gets on the horse and they soar into the heavens.

My hope for us all after this series is that lust’s grip on our life is considerably weakened and instead we begin to experience developing into men and women of substance. Whether we soar into the heavens in our sexual lives remains to be seen!

In the last few weeks we’ve been thinking about the subject of God, sex and relationships. In the first week we thought about God’s good gift of sex, which he invented for the purposes of bonding a man and a woman in a relationship of intimacy. In the second week we thought about the context that God has provided for such a powerfully bonding activity, the permanent exclusive relationship known as marriage. In particular we thought about the responsibilities that God has laid upon each partner in that relationship. The man is required to exercise his authority in loving sacrifice for the good of his wife and the woman is required to submit to his rule. Last week we thought about a situation about which both Jesus and Paul were very enthusiastic, the state of singleness. This week we’re going to think a little about the way in which our sinful nature twists God’s good gift of sexuality. We’re going to think about lust. There are three principles that I’ve highlighted to which others could be added to help us think about this issue.

1. we’ll always be sinners

21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

This principle is not intended to let us off the hook. It is intended however to help us understand why we do the things that we do. In our better moments, away from the provocation of sexual temptation, we desire to live obediently for Christ. But under the right circumstances with a little nudge we find that it doesn’t take much to lessen that desire. The reason for that is our indwelling sinful nature. It’s like a power in us that controls us constantly working to press us into its evil mould. It’s just like gravity. So long as we live in this world it’s there. It’s constant and we can’t escape from its influence. Our sexual appetite is a good thing created by God but it’s also something that our sinful nature is inclined to corrupt and distort.

Lust is the internal inclination we feel that seeks to undermine our holiness and distort an otherwise wholesome sexual drive.

Lust is to want what we don’t have and what we’re not meant to have. It’s absolutely resolved to go beyond God’s loving limitations for the exercise of sexual activity to find satisfaction. It’s an insatiable desire that rejects God’s rule and seeks satisfaction apart from him.

Lust is a desire that can never be quenched. It’s like a monster that grows the more we feed it and to conquer it we need to starve it to death.

Lust is not to be attracted to someone or notice that they are attractive. It’s not the first look but the second lingering look.

Lust is not to have a strong desire to have sex. God has created us with a sex drive and presumably that drive is meant to take us somewhere.

Lust is not to anticipate having sex within marriage.

Lust is not to become sexually aroused without any conscious decision to do so.

Lust is not to experience sexual temptation. There appear to be gender differences in our temptation to lust. These are generalisations and inevitably they’ll need to be qualified. But they broadly appear to be representative. It would be a mistake to think that men are necessarily more sinful than women it’s just that their sins are perhaps more obvious.

A man’s sexual desire is often physical. This is perhaps why a man’s lust often seeks physical activity for fulfilment. A woman’s desire is more often rooted in emotional longings. This is perhaps why romantic films or period dramas and the kind of novels written by Danielle Steele can stimulate women’s lust.

A man is generally wired to be the sexual initiator and is stimulated visually. Therefore, the women can help the men greatly by being careful how they dress, particularly at this time of year. The problem is with the men and their lust but you can help them. Girls you don’t need to fear that your femininity won’t be noticed. You could be wearing a hessian sack and every man would spot it. Someone has said that there’s a difference between dressing to attract and dressing attractively and it would be great to think about that. Josh Harris in his book says, ‘when you wear clothing that accentuates, draws attention to or highlights the feminine parts of your body it’s like wearing a neon sign pointing to the very thing he’s trying not to be consumed with’. A woman is usually wired to be a sexual responder and is stimulated by touch. Therefore the men need to refrain from extended periods of touching their girlfriends. It’s not at all helpful. A man is created to pursue and even finds the pursuit stimulating and that’s perhaps why so many men are poor at committing. A woman is made to want to be pursued and finds being pursued stimulating. This is why it’s vital that our women say no to non-Christian suitors early on in the peace. Your sinful nature will like the attention but the longer you let it go on the more you’re feeding your lust and the stronger it’s becoming.

2. we’ll be weaker on our own

19 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, 20 by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

The writer to the Hebrews realised that in order to keep going in the Christian life we need one another’s encouragement. It’s very hard to encourage yourself particularly perhaps when things are tough. Satan will go after people who isolate themselves from church relationships. I don’t know whether you’ve ever seen those war films when a troop or platoons go off into the jungle looking for the enemy. It’s always the straggler, the one who falls behind the pace and gets separated from everyone else who gets picked off. This is never more the case than when tackling sexual temptation. The nature of the sin means we would prefer to be isolated because it’s embarrassing and humiliating. So if you’ve come to us don’t just attend but immerse yourself in the life of the church. Throw yourself into our membership course, ‘Joining In’. Get involved in a small group. Pray that God will provide you with a soul mate to whom over time you can increasingly entrust yourself to. Look to be a part of an accountability relationship with one or two other people. The purpose of a group like this is to give one another believer of the same gender permission to delve into our life for the purpose of questioning, correcting, advising and encouraging someone in their Christian life. It can be quite painful at times but it can also be hugely significant in our Christian growth. I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m in a group like this with a couple of good Christian friends who also happen to be in ministry. Our wives know each other well and know the level of questioning that we’ve exposed each other to. We have a set list of questions that we ask each other and allow supplementary questions to be asked. We’re only able to get together once a term but we make a priority of keeping in touch at other times. It could be that a prayer triplet might provide something like this but I don’t want to force you into this. The point is don’t try and battle alone you’ll get picked off. Come and have a word with me if your male or Phoebe if you’re female. Take the first step to deal with it. We won’t be surprised or shocked by anything, we’re familiar with the depravity of the human heart and we’re here to help.

It’s perhaps in this context that we ought to talk about pornography and masturbation, which by their nature are usually lone activities. It’s characteristic to think of these as exclusively male struggles but there’s increasing evidence that this is not always the case.

Pornography

Pornography is anonymous visual or verbal communication intended to excite us sexually.

Pornography provokes lust.

The intention can be the deliberate intent of the producer of pornography or the deliberate intent of a viewer. Therefore a much more innocent picture can be used by the viewer intent pornographically if their intent is sexual excitement. So pictures of attractive women wearing the latest styles in a Sunday supplement whilst we wouldn’t normally classify them as pornography can become that if the viewer has excitement on his mind.

Pornography is escapism.

That’s perhaps its appeal. It lies to us. It’s often defended by the free speech lobby but it’s perhaps the most censored activity in the media. Most women don’t look like the women who appear in magazines, on films and on the Internet. And most women in porn don’t look like the women in porn because they’ve been so acutely altered by surgery, make up, lighting and editing. But we’re complicit in this scandal because we’re happy for it to lie to us. But it’s not only the more graphic images but we get it all the time in advertising. I read this week that the ASA have told a drinks company that they’re not allowed to use attractive hunky men to market their drinks but fat balding men instead. But we’re being lied to and we believe it. We’ve allowed beauty to be redefined and in fact limited to physical appearance alone. But as we all know beauty is multi-dimensional. A woman is beautiful if she’s charming, vivacious, witty intelligent warm and so much more.

Pornography is damaging.

It’s damaging to relationships especially because no woman can compete with our tastes if that’s what excites us. It means that those of us who are single will become overly picky and choosy and unhelpfully prioritise physical appearance and so we may miss out on an otherwise brilliant choice of wife because we’re too stupid to see that beauty is multi-factoral. It means that women become objects of our gaze for our arousal. It means also that those of us who are married are defrauding our wives of sexual intimacy that they deserve.

Pornography is addictive.

It’s the food that feeds the monster of lust so that lust simply gets more demanding. And so we need to starve it to death and put things in place to prevent it from happening. It’s like craving a drink but only drinking salt water. We end up craving more. If we leave this craving unchecked it can spiral downwards into obsession and like all obsessions it sucks the life from our passion for other things. Pornography is progressive. It walks people down a path towards further perversity and can create in the mind the longing to act out in reality what’s been experienced visually. If the figures are to be believed then over the last 25 years the relaxation in censorship standards has resulted in a tenfold increase in indecent assault and rape. Now perhaps there are other things that we would want to say to that issue but nevertheless we need to be warned where an infatuation could led us. Of course the problem has been around for as long as human kind. We tend to think that it was invented with the Internet. That’s not the case but the Internet has made an old problem so much more readily accessible. The drop in advertising standards in which almost everything is marketed with the toned body of a man or the voluptuous appeal of a woman doesn’t help us. And the material available on terrestrial TV after 10pm means that even trying to locate the News at Ten can feel like running the gauntlet. We need to do what we can to minimise our exposure to this type of material. There is much to help us in this struggle. There are web packages that we can use to protect the material we can see. There are also accountability programmes that can be fitted that send a record of the web sites we visit to one or two accountability partners. We can borrow DVD box sets rather than risk watching the TV – I’ve got 5 series of the West Wing is anyone’s interested.

Masturbation

There may be some for whom this is a complete mystery because you have no idea what it is. That’s fine but there will be others for whom this is acutely relevant.

Masturbation is an activity cloaked in secrecy and guilt.

Because no one ever talks about it the assumption is that it’s shameful, embarrassing and dirty. All surveys suggest that this is an activity more prevalent among men than among women. There are therefore men who masturbate who may be suffering under the unnecessary burden of shame. They’ve been made to feel that they’re in a constant state of sin as a result of their failure to control their behaviour by will power. This can be hugely damaging in their relationship with God because their whole Christian faith is reduced to this one issue.

Masturbation is an activity that the Bible does not condemn.

The Bible has every opportunity to condemn the practice but nowhere does it do so. That’s especially significant since almost every other form of sexual activity that’s deemed inappropriate is described as sexual immorality.

Masturbation is an activity that can control sexual behaviour.

Masturbation is not a replacement for sex even though Woody Allen described it as ’sex with someone I love’. It doesn’t fulfil the twin intentions of sexual activity, which are creating children and forming relationship. Therefore it cannot be the ultimate solution to our sexual drive. Before marriage and indeed during marriage it can be used as a way of controlling sexual behaviour by offering an avenue of release for sexual tension that doesn’t involve sex outside marriage. This can be especially useful within marriage where there’s a discrepancy between the sex drives of the couple or when sex is not possible for whatever reason.

Masturbation is an activity that can be lustful.

The big problem with masturbation is what’s going on in our heads. With his words about adultery and lust Jesus condemned many of the sinful fantasies that may accompany the activity of masturbation. So what are we to do? One senior Christian leader suggests that we’re not to think of nothing since it’s not simply functional like eating. We’re not to think of immorality so we mustn’t think about or visualise real people. We’re not to think of ungodly or illegal practices. Instead we’re to train ourselves to think about normal sexual activity in terms of our marriage partner if we’re married or an ideal marriage partner if we’re single.

3. we’ll reap what we sow

7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

God is not to be fooled and we should not be deceived. There are no short cuts to spiritual maturity. The difference between the person who grows in holiness and the one who doesn’t is not a matter of personality as though they’re temperamentally wired to being godly. Neither is holiness the fruit of upbringing as though class was significant and neither do we require great gifting to be holy. It’s simply a matter of agriculture. We all know that there’s an unbreakable link between what we put in the ground and what we take out of it later. What we see in our spiritual life today is the direct result of what we’ve put into it in the past. If there’s to be deep and lasting transformation in our Christian life then we need to start sowing to the Spirit. And that’s something that we can start doing today. However, far back we feel that we are, however many mistakes we’ve made in the past we can begin today to start sowing to the Spirit. We need to start cultivating ways of behaving that are conducive to Christian growth. This principle is true in terms of our sexual sin. If we’ve fed our lust then at one level that sin is no worse than any other is. All sin is anti God. But Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 6 that at another level sexual sin is worse. It’s profoundly anti-self.

18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

When we sin sexually we sin with our own body and we sin against our own body. Therefore sexual sins are different in their nature from other sins. They affect us more than other sins because what we do with our body is what we do with ourselves. We’re not just a thinking entity as though what we do with our body is separate to us. But we’re an integrated whole of body, mind and heart. There are therefore repercussions on us if we sin sexually that we’ll carry around with us. We’re never quite the same person again. When I lie I’m doing something sinful but it’s as though my wrong words leave me. When I sin sexually it’s me that’s involved intimately. Therefore sexual sins have a more damaging effect on people than lying. Now of course we can be forgiven for our sexual mistakes but we mustn’t be fooled into thinking that there aren’t ongoing consequences. No we reap what we sow.

Conclusion

We can’t leave a subject like this without reflecting on the cross of Christ and the forgiveness he offers. We’re all sexual sinners to one degree or another. But Christ died for our sexual sins so that we could be forgiven and start again in repentance and faith. Let’s read Psalm 51 and pray and with our hearts and our lips resolve to use our bodies for sacrificial service of Christ rather than selfish desire.

The third talk in a series of four entitled ‘God, Sex and Relationships’. I was greatly helped by a series of tapes by Philip Jensen, Richard Coekin and the book the Single Issue by Al Hsu. There are probably others whose material I’ve used in order to try and benefit others. Thank you!

The last two weeks might have been hard for some of us. Hearing about the nature and exercise of Christian marriage last week and the purpose of sexual union the week before may have left many of us thinking, ‘that sounds good, I’d like some of that’. That’s hard if you’re single and would prefer not to be. It’s perhaps harder if you’re married and your relationship doesn’t look anything like what’s been described. But at least they have the chance to do something about it.

Our culture and perhaps even the Christian church are not easy situations in which to be without a partner. The common view of the single person is that they are in some sense incomplete, immature, that they are failures and ought to receive our pity. Our family and friends can reinforce that view in the way that they pressure us to start seeing people and apologise for our single status when we’re with others. Our parents would love to be Grandparents at some stage and they know it won’t happen whilst we’re alone. But if we join with the world in despising singleness we’re thinking of Jesus Christ as a pitiable, incomplete, inferior, unfulfilled individual. And that’s blasphemous. I very much hope that CCB will be different to the world around us and will provide what single Christian men and women need to live for Christ.

I think the situation is especially hard for single Christian women. Some reasons for that are more light-hearted than others. On the lighter side of things, think about the names attached to single people. The single man is a bachelor, which conjures up the image of the roguish playboy. The single woman is known as a spinster, which conjures up the image of a bitter old hag. Think about the media treatment of the single man and the single woman. The single man’s role model is James Bond. The single woman’s is Bridget Jones. One is an adventurous lothario and the other everyone assumes has been consigned to an existence stuck at home listening to SAD FM, thinking that her only major relationship has been with a bottle of 92 Chardonnay, comforted only by a group of bitter and twisted friends wondering whether the man who’s just walked into your life is your Mark Darcy who likes you just the way that you are. At worst the long term single Christian man might be assumed to be socially inept or homosexual but he’s under no massive obligation to marry. One of the reasons for the situation being harder for the Christian woman is that the church is empty of Christian men and so the opportunities for marriage to a Christian are limited.

Can I repeat what I said last week? Do not contemplate beginning a relationship with an unbelieving husband because by your 20s you’re in marriage territory and by our 30s we’re deep into it. There’s nothing in the Bible prohibiting us from dating a non-Christian because there’s nothing in the bible about dating. But it’s completely foolish. We’ll be bonding and the split up when it ought to come will be all the more painful. If however, we marry there are three options

i. They’ll get converted and we’ve all heard of it happen so that the myth is kept alive. But it’s very unlikely and extraordinarily risky. If they’re serious about Christian things they’ll do Christianity Explored. So wait and see but don’t go down the bonding route.

ii. We take our love for Christ seriously and they don’t. Initially we’ll be able to cope with it and they’ll be understanding. But the intrusion of Christ into the relationship will mean their opposition to Christ and church will stiffen. It’ll become a vast chasm will open up in our relationship because it’s women who fall for this more often than men and they’ll feel the emotional distance opening up much more acutely they’ll deal with the one thing that’s causing the problem and

iii. They’ll drift from Christ. In truth it’s the usual way for XN girls out of XNTY. So the thing to do is never go on the first date because the first no is the easiest one. This way is the way of disaster. There may be a lingering suspicion that I’ve forfeited my rights to speak on this subject since I’ve been married for 8 years. Let me say that I remember what it’s like to be single, I now know what it’s like to be married and I anticipate that there’s a 50-50 chance I’ll be single again some day. Though given the statistics it’s more than likely that Rosslyn will outlive me and she’ll have to cope without me.

But you’ll be pleased to know that I don’t intend to speak from personal experience that’d be too uncomfortable for us both. I want to speak from the Bible so that we might hear some wise advice from our loving heavenly Father on a subject he understands inside out. I think the Bible has 4 main emphases to interpret singleness.

1. singleness is a good gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7)

A friend said to me today that, ‘it may be a gift, but there are gifts and gifts. There’s gifts that you get on your birthday that are just what you’re after and then there’s gifts that you hope they include the receipt because you’d like to exchange it’. ‘Singleness’, she said, ‘feels like that’.

The word ‘gift’ here refers to a state rather than a special ability to be married or single. All who are single have the gift of singleness. All who are married have the gift of marriage. Some will exchange the gift of singleness for marriage others will have it for life. Either way each state is a good gift from our loving heavenly Father in accordance with his purpose for our lives. In accordance with his overall ambition to fashion in us the likeness of his Son He determines exactly what we need at a specific time to help us in that. Therefore He thinks that our marital state is what we most need at this time to make us more like Christ and we need to trust him in that. If God thinks that we need to be married in order to advance in holiness then he’ll provide us with someone to marry. We need to think with this perspective and not complain. After all we have no reason to doubt his goodness. As Paige Benton a single Christ writer said, ‘Can God be any less good to me on the average Tuesday morning than he was on that monumental Friday afternoon when he hung on a cross in my place? The answer is a resounding no.’

The idea that God is being tight fisted in not giving us a marriage partner at the moment is preposterous nonsense, he loves us the same today as he did when Christ died. In Matthew 19 Jesus said it was actually better for not to be married although not everyone would accept it. He said that there might be many reasons for being single.

some will remain single because of their condition: they were born unable to marry, although it’s unlikely, they might be physically or emotionally unable to have a sexual relationship in marriage

some will remain single because of their circumstances: they’ve been forced into that by the actions of others, that may be a shortage of marriage partners

some will remain single because of their choice: they have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of God.  

2. singleness is not for all of us (1 Corinthians 7:8&9)

Although singleness is good we should pursue marriage if can’t control ourselves sexually. Whether we’re single or not matters less than whether we’re godly. And so Paul advised the widowers and widows to stay unmarried if they could for reasons that he’ll outline later. But if they found that they couldn’t control themselves they ought to marry. Perhaps they were holding back because they thought that celibacy was more spiritual but they were struggling to stay pure in their thoughts and practices. I’ve known a handful of men who have expressed their determination to renounce the Kingdom of God but have tied themselves in knots trying to cope with a situation they couldn’t cope with. Paul is not saying get married as soon as we feel sexual passion or are tempted by it otherwise blokes would be getting married at the age of 13 to their school teacher or their best friend’s mother. Nor is he saying get married as soon as you feel any sexual excitement in a relationship because there are other factors to consider. And most men don’t find that sexual excitement is hard to come by. It’s better to avoid the situations that cause us to burn with passion than plunge into an inappropriate marriage because we lack self-discipline. And we’ll think a little more about that next week. But passion is one of a number of reasons to get married. It’s a good reason to get married though it’s not the only one. Marriage does help in the battle against sexual temptation because we can have sex. It also frees us up from the lifestyle of constantly travelling around the country or the city attending various social functions in the hope that we’ll meet Miss Right. It frees us from a life of flirtation and chasing after the opposite sex. It’s a great thing to be married because the day after I got married I knew that I’d married God’s choice for me. The matter was sorted and freed up time and anxiety. At this point some might legitimately point out that this is all very well to say but I can’t get anyone to marry me. I’m sympathetic to that situation and it may well be the case in a small church like us for a few years.

How should we respond to that?

It could be that we leave CCB and join another church but the Bible takes a dim view of church hopping

It could be that we’ve decided that we don’t know anyone to marry at the moment and we need to wait, pray and trust the Lord

It could be that we’ve been too choosy and applied unrealistically high standards so that we’ve ruled out people who’d make potential marriage partners.

I do think that the Christian men have a responsibility to our Christian sisters at this point. Some of us may decide to marry one of them and that would be terrific. Some Christian men remain single for too long and form all sorts of unhelpful self-centred habits but because they’re in the numerical ascendancy they’re not particularly panicked about finding someone to marry. That’s not particularly admirable. We certainly need to go on prioritising men’s evangelism and encouraging our male friends to do it for this reason. It’s not the only reason to explain the gospel to men, it’s not even the best reason but it’s a reason nonetheless. We need to try and give our women the opportunity to consider marriage rather than be consigned to it by male inactivity. It’s a wonderfully manly thing to do to protect our women from the huge temptation to marry an unbeliever.

The women of course need to be careful at this point not to blame the men if we’re not winning men for Christian and perhaps they need to be wary of becoming bitter and resentful towards God if things don’t turn out as we hope. It’s again perhaps hardest for the single women who don’t want to take the initiative but I think it has to be possible to approach a man about a relationship and remain submissive. I don’t know how but you can work that out. If we’re cultivating an atmosphere in which we’re not assuming a relationship is marriage that ought to be easier.

3. singleness has advantages over marriage (1 Corinthians 7:25-35)

As surprising as it sounds to our ears Paul considers singleness a better condition than marriage. Both marriage and singleness are morally right and spiritually mature but practically speaking in merely pragmatic terms then singleness is better for serving the Lord. This is shocking and politically incorrect but right because singleness delivers us in 3 ways.

a. it delivers us from worldly troubles (25-28).

Single people need to hear this. Marriage and a sexual relationship will not solve all our problems. In marriage we simply exchange one set of problems for another. It doesn’t mean that you’re never lonely or that you don’t have sexual frustrations or have a happy family. It will bring extra problems tiredness, worry, administration, arguments, responsibilities, disappointment and frustration. Christian marrieds are not very good at letting you know it’s part of the conspiracy of silence I mentioned last week! Many Christian marriages, perhaps usually those longer than ours are in misery but they are all smiles on a Sunday. Don’t believe the lie that it’s all-blissful. The lies of the media are pervasive and persuasive.

b. it delivers us from passing priorities (29-31).

Remember that this life is not all that there is, the future is hurtling towards us and we must live in the light of it. Paul’s being rhetorical in (29) because he expects them to have these things but to sit loose to them but he doesn’t want them to be engrossed by them. Given that the time is short and Christ could be returning imminently we’re free to be busy helping people be saved from hell for heaven. That’s true whether we’re single or married.

c. it delivers us from restrictions on ministry (32-35).

Remember that marriage is a hindrance to serving the Lord, we can’t do as much in church when we’re married because we ought to be looking after our wives or husbands. We don’t have the time. When you’re married, you have twice the relatives and when you have children you have the additional implications of looking after your own small group. This is greatly undervalued in the Reformed tradition that has rejected the Catholic vow of celibacy. Probably rightly because Paul says forbidding marriage is the doctrine of demons! But Jesus, the Apostle Paul, John Stott, Dick Lucas, Jonathan Fletcher, John Chapman, Rico Tice, Vaughan Roberts and Andrew Pearson are all single! It’s no accident that lots of church ministry is done by single people. It’s why this evening congregation can be so used by God. We can do so much evangelism, training in ministry and serve the am congregation in crèche and Sunday school. But (35) don’t forget that you’re free to choose what you want but go into it with an open mind. It’s perhaps the case that some Christian women assume that life starts when they get married. We must encourage them not to waste the opportunities that God is giving them for useful service. We mustn’t spend our lives looking to change our circumstances paralysed from doing ministry because we’re too busy cruising the London church scene, booking up dates in the diary for speed dating when we could be involved in Christian ministry.

4. singleness will not last forever (Ephesians 5 & Revelation 19)

I tried to explain last week that the relationship between a man and a wife were not the original template for human marriages because they’re patterned on the relationship between Christ and His church. One day Christ’s bride, the church, will be united in eternal marriage with their bridegroom. The intimacy that’s known by a few in marriage today will be the experience of all Christ’s lovers. The requirement for us all as Christ’s bride is to pursue holiness, which means that we must not let our marital status become a reason for ungodliness. The girls, perhaps particularly, can help one another not to foster disappointment or encourage it by their conversations with one another. The struggles of singleness will pass away when we meet Christ at the marriage of the lamb and are married to Christ forever they’ll seem relatively insignificant. But whilst we remain single let’s be practical about putting things in place to make the lifestyle sustainable and enjoyable. We’ll need to think about strategies for coping with being single. That’s perhaps easier in your 20s when lots of people are and choosing who to go on holiday with is fairly straightforward. But it can be harder when you’re 40 and lots of your married friends go away on their own or with their families.

Conclusion

If you could be single then do it. Don’t get pushed into getting married. It’s great to be single. It’s great to be married, each has problems and we’re free to choose. If we do need to get married then we need to trust God that he will provide what we need. It may be that we don’t think need it as much as we do and he’s providing a way out of our temptation if only we were more self controlled. We can serve God better as a single so let’s stop claiming that marriage will solve all our problems. The transformation that could be wrought in the singles of CCB who struggle with this issue by the godly example and open acknowledgement of struggles with temptation in this area could be hugely beneficial. We ought to pray that God either gives us or grows amongst us mature Christian singles to help our other singles flourish in the situation God has called them to.

Audio download of this sermon available here http://www.christchurchbalham.org.uk/ccb/sermons.php

Donald Crowhurst is one of Britain’s most infamous sailors. His story will appear in a forthcoming film entitled ‘Deep Water’. It’s a tragic story. He participated in the first ever ‘Golden Globe’ round the world yacht race in 1969 which was won by Sir Robin Knox-Johnston. He set sail in a boat ill equipped for the challenge, deep in personal debt, sponsored by a local businessman and the subject of a national interest in the Fleet Street newspapers. Things started for him and quickly got worse. His yacht wasn’t up to it and started to leak. So he moored off Brazil and went nowhere. Facing a return home to certain financial ruin he instead began to radio in a series of incredible positions and speeds. Opinion began to spread that this complete amateur yachtsman was about to win. But that only exacerbated his problem. He didn’t want to venture into the perilous Southern Ocean but neither could he own up and face the shame and embarrassment of admitting his lies. In the end, on 29 June 1969 after 243 days at sea he jumped overboard and destroyed his life and the lives of his wife and four children.

Why is it that we’ll consider anything rather than own up to the truth?

Our passage this morning addresses that very issue.

We’re back in John’s Gospel. A biographical account by the Apostle John concerning the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Writing in 20:30&31 John states his reasons for putting quill to parchment,

30 Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; 31 but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Notice therefore that what we’re about to look at is

• Reliable. John has selected and edited eyewitness material. It’s not an exhaustive account but it is a comprehensive account of the things that Jesus did in the presence of his disciples.

• Persuasive. John wants his readers to be convinced about something. Whatever our opinion of Jesus Christ before reading the book he wants to persuade us that unless we think that Jesus, the Nazarene carpenter is the Christ, the promised saviour king of the Old Testament we’ve got it hopelessly wrong.

• Significant. John wants his readers to experience life in the name of Jesus Christ. The life that Christ brings is resurrection life and an eternal existence beyond the grave of which our spiritual life now is the foretaste.

We’re working our way through this Gospel over the course of a year. Last week we considered Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus, the Archbishop of Jerusalem, concerning something Jesus described as ‘being born again’. In the space of that conversation he left Nicodemus in no doubt about three things.

a. The necessity of the new birth for without it no one can enter the eternal kingdom of God in heaven.

b. The nature of the new birth which is new spiritual life from God enabling us to live for Him.

c. And the means of the new birth which is Jesus Christ. His work of revelation in coming down from heaven to earth to reveal God to us and his work of salvation in being lifted up on a cross so that he could save us from our sins.

Our passage follows on immediately from that discussion. It begins with the word ‘for’. And so the John now explains why that new birth is available to all that believe in Jesus Christ. There’s some debate about whether these words are a continuation of Jesus’ discussion with Nicodemus or a subsequent reflection on that discussion and editorial comments from John the Gospel writer. I favour the latter option because the cross is spoken of as a past event, the description of Jesus as the only Son is used only by John not Jesus and the light and dark discussion follows on from the terminology of the prologue.

The structure of this section is straightforward.

• (16) What has God done?
• (17) Why has God done it?
• (18) Concluding comment

• (19) What do we do?
• (20) Why do we do it?
• (21) Concluding comment

1. the Son was sent because God loves the world (16-18)

In (16) John describes what God has done. He has sent His Son.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

The motive for the death of Christ was love. God sent his Son into the world because he loves the world. God is passionate about the world. When we consider God’s love 3 things strike us.

a. It’s a surprising love.

The love of God is surprising because of who he loves. He loves the world. And the idea behind that word is not the vastness of the planet but the wickedness of the people who populate it. We ought not to expect God to love people like us because we’re so wicked. We’re not as wicked as we could be, I’m sure we could all be worse than we are. And we’re not all as wicked as one another since there are undoubtedly different degrees of wickedness amongst us. But the point is that none of us is morally innocent. We may be reluctant, indeed resistant, to being described as wicked but God defines wickedness. And wickedness is refusing to live in God’s world the way that he would have us do. The newspapers are awash with stories about the acrimonious divorce of Heather Mills and Paul McCartney. We’d be surprised if, given the things that have been said and the things that have been alleged to go on, they got back together in marriage expressing their love for one another. That would be an unusual relationship. So too is God’s affection for us.

b. It’s a sacrificial love.

The love of God is sacrificial because He gave up His Son. Think what it cost God to love the world. If we’re ever in doubt of the enormity of God’s love for us we need only remember what he invested in our relationship. There’s been no holding back on God’s part. He loves us so much that he was prepared to watch His own Son bleed to death as an innocent victim on the cross. I don’t think we need to watch it but we may have seen ‘the Passion of the Christ’. Whilst it’s impossible for the film to communicate the spiritual suffering of Jesus as he suffered the wrath of His Father for our sins it leaves little to the imagination about the physical torment that accompanied his suffering. God knowingly sent His Son into the world to endure that punishment so that we wouldn’t have to. And he did that because he wanted to preserve us from it.

c. It’s a saving love.

The love of God is saving because it rescues us from perishing for eternal life. Because of our wickedness we deserve to be punished and God’s just sentence is eternal perishing. In God’s view, and His is the one that matters, this severe punishment fits the horrific nature of the crime even though we might feel that God has overreacted. The word ‘perishing’ means destruction and the idea is not annihilation but eternal degradation under God’s wrath. It’s not a welcome thought. But that’s the point. God’s love saves us from that. Instead of perishing forever in the place Jesus called hell, God’s love for us means that we can be saved for eternal life.

In (17) John explains why God sent his Son into the world. It wasn’t to condemn the world but save it.

17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

The purpose for which God sent His Son into the world was not primarily judgement and condemnation but ultimately salvation. Jesus was sent to earth on a rescue mission of incomparable significance. If we think that Jesus was sent as some sort of cosmic policeman to sort out the disorder in God’s world we’ve got it all wrong. Jesus didn’t come to judge us but save us. In (18) John concludes that there can only be two responses to Jesus Christ with two results. The first response

18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned,

Those who believe, that is entrust, themselves to Christ will not be condemned. Isn’t that wonderful? The second response

but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.

Those who refuse God’s offer of rescue in Jesus will be condemned. But they have only themselves to blame. Christ came to save us and if we will not believe it’s no one’s fault but ours.

Debbie Jackson has just come back from trekking in Nepal. Imagine for a moment that on her journey in the Himalayas she got hopelessly lost and faced great danger. A team was then sent out to rescue her. When that rescue team arrives they offer help and a way back to safety. She refuses. And the next we hear is that a lone English woman has perished in freezing conditions in the foothills of Everest. It’s a scenario none of us would wish on anyone, especially not Debs. But that’s what John says happens when we refuse the love of God in the saving work of Jesus Christ. But why is it that people don’t welcome that surprising, sacrificial and saving love?

2. The Light has come but people love the darkness (19-21)

In (19) John describes how the world has responded to the light.

19 And this is the judgement: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil.

The light is John’s way of referring to Jesus Christ. Using words reminiscent of his introduction John explains that Christ has come into the world. His purpose in using that illustration is not simply that Jesus illuminates a world darkened in their understanding of spiritual matters though that is true. It’s a turn of phrase that carries moral overtones. Jesus has brought goodness, righteousness and white-hot moral purity into the world. But usually people run a mile and flee for the darkness. John provocatively contrasts God’s passionate love for the world with our perverse love for darkness. In (20) John explains why the world loves the darkness.

20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.

Why do we prefer to stay away from the light under the cover of darkness? Why is it that we won’t come to Christ? Exposure. We do not want to go through the shame of having to face what we’re really like. We don’t want to come to Christ because we know that when we do we’ll have to come to terms with our moral failure. When we compare ourselves to Chrisy we come off really badly and so we’ll do what we can to keep him at arm’s length and out of the picture. We’d prefer self-denial than self-humiliation.

In his book ‘Ends and Means’, the 20th century writer and philosopher Aldous Huxley describes his own flawed motive for his beliefs. He had the honesty to write this, ‘I had motives for not wanting the world to have a meaning; consequently I assumed that it had none and was able without any difficulty to find satisfying reasons for this assumption. For myself as, no doubt, for most of my contemporaries, the philosophy of meaningless was essentially an instrument of liberation. The liberation we desired was simultaneously liberation from a certain political and economic system and liberation from a certain system of morality. We objected to the morality because it interfered with our sexual freedom’.

In other words he admitted that his rejection of the Bible’s teaching had nothing to do with integrity and everything to do with morality. He adopted a philosophy that could justify what he wanted to do. John says the same thing.

Our refusal to come to the light isn’t fundamentally intellectual it’s moral. We won’t come because we don’t want to. The problem is our motives. But there is a way to change our motives because in (21) John concludes that opposed to those who reject the revelation of God in Christ there are some who delight in it.

21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his deeds have been carried out in God.

There are those who do the right thing. They go through the humbling humiliation but they come to Christ and so receive eternal life. But it’s not through any superiority on their part. God is the one who has changed their motives as they’ve thought about Christ’s work of revelation and salvation.

Conclusion

John challenges us to come to the light even though our wickedness will be revealed in our conscience and perhaps to others. This exposure of evil is like pain inflicted on a dislocated joint in order to set it right. It has to happen. But that conviction of sin is supposed to lead to repentance. Our unwillingness to come to Jesus Christ is ridiculous. The right thing to do is to come to the light. Ultimately our ongoing sinful rebellion of Jesus Christ is utterly irrational and ultimately self-destructive. There are times when I cannot understand why people don’t become Christians. It seems ludicrous. And then I remember what it felt like. The fear of exposure, the thought of humiliation the painful realisation that I’ve not only failed to match up to my own standards I’m a country mile off God’s. And you know what? I reckon it gets harder the older we get. In our early 20s we’re just starting out in life and we’ve only just begun to make some of the big moral decisions. There’s not so much to lose if we come to Christ. There’ll be some loss of face and it’ll be a little humbling but it’s only a few years of mistakes. By the time we’re in our 50s we’re pretty well established, travelling in a well-worn rut. There’s been a lot of water that’s flowed under the bridge and plenty skeletons in the closet. We’ve spent our whole life going in a direction that God says is wrong. It’s pretty hard to face up to that. There’s more to lose the older we leave it. So why not deal with it today? Why not come to the light so that what we move from condemnation to life?

A briefing paper produced for the Sunday School teachers. If my memory serves me well Stephanie Carmichael’s book ‘Their God is So Big’ was a massive help.

13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away. Matthew 19:13&14

Jesus’ attitude to those who overlook the spiritual instruction of children is clear. He rebuked his disciples when they made the mistake of regarding children’s ministry as relatively unimportant. I’m determined that we won’t repeat the error at CCB. In principal whilst it’s clearly wrong to undervalue children’s ministry it’s also pragmatically foolish. At the dinner last Sunday we clarified from Matthew 28 that the aim of CCB is ‘to make disciples of all nations’. We’ve developed a five-fold strategy to achieve that aim. The first two elements are building the church and seeking the lost. It’s under these headings that I want to consider the contribution of Christ Church Kids.

All Age Church is attempting to reach the Balham area for Christ and an essential part of our appeal is Christ Church Kids. Many of those we aim to reach won’t know that yet but our hope is to persuade them to come along and give them such a good time so that they’ll never want to leave!

You’ll know that I’m cultivating a good relationship with a local school so that in partnership with them I’m welcomed, invited to run regular assemblies and asked to help with the teaching of RE. In principal the Head Teacher has given me the go ahead to run a Kids’ Club in the Summer Half Term. My hope is that not only will CC Kids attend but that having built up a favourable reputation and a good rapport kids from the school will want to come. At the end of the holiday club we’ll have a Sunday Meeting at which the kids will perform and make presentations. Although the Holiday Club is some time away we start building our reputation from here. Our kids are the best advert, followed secondly by their parents.

Under God we’re attempting to grow an all age congregation at CCB and it’s ridiculous to think that parents will want to join us if their children are not well looked after. Our children’s ministry is therefore a significant part of promoting the gospel. To be appointed with responsibility for instructing children is therefore to be asked to fulfil an important role. This short article is an attempt to explain the responsibility placed upon those we commission with the task of leading Christ Church Kids (CCK). In summary being a CCK teacher must involve the following five things

1. We must seek God’s approval

Whilst the admiration of the children in our groups, the appreciation of grateful parents and the respect from our peers is very enjoyable we’re not involved in children’s ministry for those reasons. Look at 1 Thessalonians 2:1-6

2:1 For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming to you was not in vain. 2 But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much conflict. 3 For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, 4 but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. 5 For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. 6 Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ.

In his first letter to the Thessalonians Paul had to defend his motives for ministry against the accusations of those who thought that he was motivated by selfish gain. He repeatedly maintained that what mattered most to him was pleasing God. After all it was God who witnessed his every move and would ultimately test the sincerity of his heart. Therefore when we sit down on a Thursday night to study the passage and on a Saturday morning to prepare the craft activity what will matter most is that the Lord sees what we’re doing. One day He’ll reward us for our labours. We may face unfair pressure, distrust or even criticism from other leaders, church leaders and parents but isn’t it great to know that our efforts in children’s ministry don’t go unnoticed by the one spectator whose assessment really matters. But of course, it also means that we must carry out this ministry in such a way that he would approve of.

2. We must model the Christian Life

Whilst the job specification for most children’s ministry workers requires applicants to offer musical, theatrical, oratorical, educational and motivational gifts in reality it’s much more demanding! The Lord requires those whom are appointed as teachers to be godly. Consider these words from Paul to the young Bible teacher Timothy in 1 Timothy 3:1-13

3:1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. 8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. 11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. 13 For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.

We’re to set an example of what it means to follow the Lord Jesus. Whilst this doesn’t mean that we’ll need to reach sinless perfection before we ever instruct others it does mean that we need to be making progress in submitting every aspect of life to the rule of Jesus Christ. As we attempt to do so we’ll be living examples to the children of what it means to love and serve Christ. They’ll learn loads from how we live the Christian life and whilst they might perhaps forget in years to come what our interpretation of 1 Peter 3 was they’ll never forget the kind of people that we were. Kids are also great imitators and so God has given us an opportunity to introduce them to the most wonderfully liberating way of life and put in place patterns of behaviour in their early years that will save them from reckless living further down the track. Therefore those of us who don’t fit the unhelpful caricature of the Blue Peter presenter required by some churches that advertise for children’s workers shouldn’t be at all disheartened. Godliness is more important than guitar playing, holiness than horseplay and Christ-likeness than creativity. But being a Sunday school teacher is not only demonstrating a way of life it also means

3. We must explain the Word of God

Whilst the ability to produce the animals of the Bible using your extensive knowledge of origami might be enough to hold the rapt attention of a group of 5 year olds it doesn’t really have any lasting value. The work that lasts is the primary task of helping our children understand the message of the Bible. The Bible is the sword that the Spirit of God wields to impart new life, to produce repentance and faith and to help us persevere in lives of obedient service to Christ. We need our children’s ministers to be unashamedly people who want to teach the Bible to children. This was Paul’s great priority in his instructions to Titus. Look at Titus 1:5-9

5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. 7 For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. 9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. 

The great challenge facing the Sunday school teacher is one that the preacher rarely has to face. It’s how to take a faithful understanding of the text and help children of different intellectual capacities understand what it means. But few preachers are faced with such appetite for knowledge, enthusiasm for the Bible or willingness to believe what’s taught. Therefore the really demanding aspect of children’s ministry may not be the time handling the discipline problems that may arise in class on a Sunday morning. It may well be pouring over a bible text, trying to understand what it means and how to simplify it for a 3-year-old with the attention span of the average goldfish. But children’s ministry is not limited to text work it also means

4. We must pray for the kids

Whilst the evidence of our preparation will become evident in the classroom and also in the craft item that’s proudly carried home there is some preparatory work that will never be seen. Children’s ministry like all teaching ministries carries a responsibility to explain the scriptures and pray. It’s the Lord who will prosper our study of His word, who will grant understanding to the children and who will produce repentance and faith in their lives. Praying for the individual children in our care is an easy thing to overlook but it’s so significant. It’s ridiculous to think that God will bless our efforts to teach the Bible to children if we’re not prepared to ask for his help. It was this ministry that characterised Paul’s oversight of the congregations he served and is particularly evident in the reports he sent to the Thessalonian church in his first letter. Look at 1 Thessalonians 3:6-13

6 But now that Timothy has come to us from you, and has brought us the good news of your faith and love and reported that you always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you— 7 for this reason, brothers, in all our distress and affliction we have been comforted about you through your faith. 8 For now we live, if you are standing fast in the Lord. 9 For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God, 10 as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith? 11 Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you, 12 and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, 13 so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.

Therefore those of us who don’t feel that we’re hugely skilled at understanding the Bible shouldn’t feel that we have nothing to offer. That we pray for the children’s ministry may prove to be more significant in the end than the brilliance of our lessons.

5. We must care for Individuals

Whilst there is rightly great importance placed upon faithful explanation of the Bible passage, the preparation of the craft activity and the managing of the classroom environment it’s possible to forget that we’re teaching children. We might become so professional in our approach that we forget that it’s the individuals sat in front of us with their struggles, their anxieties and their issues that we’re trying to pastor. Paul laboured in ministry, both in public and in private, so that no one was excluded from hearing profitable teaching and so that all could attain the maturity he worked for. Look at Colossians 1:24-28

24 Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, 25 of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, 26 the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. 27 To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 28 Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29 For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

We rightly prioritise personal care in our adult small groups and there’s no reason why our children should be cared for with less diligence. Of course, this remains the primary responsibility of the parents but we’ve entered into partnership with them and in consultation with parents we ought to prioritise this personal work. Therefore we ought not to overlook the opportunities to express our concern for our children. Every child will be thrilled if we remember their birthday or significant events, visit their home and send them postcards from holiday and these small tokens of personal care will be genuine testimony of our love for them. The effect of articles such as these is often to produce an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. That’s not been the intention of the article. We’re all work in progress and some of us will be better at some of this than others. The purpose of this article has been to flag up those things that are indispensable to authentic Christian Children’s Ministry so that we know what to pursue, how to apportion our time and how to assess what we’re doing. If we’re able to produce these in the years to come our children will be well served, our parents content and the Lord pleased and we can rest knowing that we’ve been part of a job well done.

A financial slot in CCB

Everything that’s said in the next few moments should be understood in the light of Paul’s words to the Corinthian church in 2 Corinthians 9:7, ‘Each man should give what he has decided to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver’. 

We outlined the financial situation for CCB in December last year. This is an update on developments. There’s some good news and some bad news. The good news is that ten giving units have responded for the first time. [A giving unit is an individual or a family]. That’s terrific since we’re keen that everyone involved at CCB should participate at some level in bearing the financial costs. So wonderfully we’ve raised £15,000. Understandably we’re very grateful to God. The bad news is that there we’re still £14,000 shy of balancing the books. And disappointingly there are still a number of potential giving units making no financial contribution. There will be a host of reasons for that, some good and others not. So we must go on praying and examining our own hearts on the matter.

It costs about £140,000 a year to finance everything we do at CCB. Please don’t think that if you divide that total in half you’ve worked out what Gavin and I get paid! But staffing, administration, housing, hiring premises, course materials, expenses and international giving are all included under expenditure. This is what it costs to finance the gospel ministry of CCB. This figure takes into account everything that we run including Sunday meetings, Christianity Explored courses, Knowing God, the Apprenticeship Scheme, Men’s and Women’s Breakfasts, Weekends Away, Ministry Matters, Prepared to Serve, Home Group, Women’s Bible Study, Christ Church Kids, Christ Church Tots, Crèche, Assemblies and so on.

Therefore it costs £2,673 a week to run CCB. At the moment we raise £2,385. And so that’s a shortfall of £288 a week. Imagine if you ran your own accounts like that. Perhaps you do and that’s why you’re not able to give!! But, if every giving unit contributed £5 extra a week we’d be in the clear. That’s an increase in everyone’s giving of £260 per year. Of course some of us will be able to manage that and some of us won’t.

Let me tell you why this is important. At the moment we have two full time paid staff members, Gavin and me. In addition we pay Kirsty for the administrative support she provides. We also provide financial assistance to Sean so that he can train as an apprentice. Next year we lose the Savides to South Africa, where Sean will probably train at George Whitfield Collge and Gavin to the new South West London plant. Though it’s likely that Gavin will still be around in some capacity, we’d like to employ a replacement so that when he gives his attention to that new church we’re not left without the help that we need. I’ve got someone in mind. He’s terrific and his wife is even better. So we get two for the price of one! We’d like to employ them from September when they finish at College. If we fill this financial hole this time round we can afford to employ and house them. But we need to know now whether this is possible. If it seems unlikely then we’ll need to let them know so that they can find alternative employment.

It’s probably worth thinking about the reasons why we’re slow to give? I think I’ve owned all of these at some stage and so it feels very much like a confession on my part! I’m sure that there are lots of different reasons and you may have some to add to these. If you have, why not talk with someone about them and analyse whether you think they’re good and godly reasons.

Why don’t we give?

1. We don’t give because some of us are exempt from the responsibility

There are some here and no one is expecting them to make any contribution. If you’re a visitor, someone who’s just checking us out or someone who’s involved at CCB but not yet ready to call yourself a Christian we’re not after your money! You’re very welcome and it’s great to have you. Please keep coming. But this is something for the Christians who call CCB their church. I’m sorry that you have to sit through our domestic housekeeping!

2. We don’t give because some of us are unaware of the need for our support

We may not know how to give. We’re pretty quiet about giving. It’s usually only mentioned a couple of times a year in a slot like this. That’s deliberate. We want to talk about the grace of God in Christ more than we do about church finances. Even though we make it hard to give at CCB we need your help. Don’t take our silence as an indication that we’re sorted! We may be unaware of how we’re financed. We receive no funding at all for anything from the Church of England. Everything we do here has to be paid for by us. For the last few years we’ve enjoyed the generous financial support of the Co-Mission churches. But the time has come for us to pay our own way, if that’s possible, and start to be generous to others. In particular we’d like to show our support for the new South West London plant. We may be unaware of our responsibility to contribute. Gordon and Christian rehearsed the biblical principles for giving in December and I’m not going to repeat those now. The giving booklet on the ‘rack at the back’ rehearses these. But if we’re part of a club, society or gym there’s usually a joining fee and a monthly membership so that the club can exist. At CCB we waive the joining fee! But we mustn’t be naïve and think that this is any different at church. Who do we think is paying for it? We are, and it may be that some of us need to start contributing. If being a part of CCB has benefited our spiritual life then perhaps we could reconsider our level of financial support.

3. We don’t give because some of us are disorganised

It’s not that we don’t want to contribute it’s just that we never get round to it. If our personal admin isn’t up to scratch we end up losing the form, we know it’s in the house somewhere, we thought we’d put it in the to do pile but it’s not there and now it’s so long since it was first raised that we’re too embarrassed to ask for a new one. I have a lot of sympathy with people like that. Most of my life looks like that! But we do need to recognise that our good intentions aren’t sufficient to fund gospel ministry. If we need help in filling out the forms then Giles is the man to speak to. He’s the only person in this church who knows who gives and what they give. We do not allow that information to be known by anyone else, staff included.

4. We don’t give because some of us are rebellious

There may be some of us who disagree with the spending plans and who decide to voice their opposition by keeping the wallet closed. I’m not aware of any great unrest but there may be some who are reluctant to open their purses because they can’t open their hearts to what we’ve outlined. Do come and speak to the elders if you’d like to know more. Gordon, Christian, Gavin and I in consultation with the Co-Mission partners spend time praying and planning about the finances. We’re very happy to talk about what we spend and why.

5. We don’t give because some of us are skint

This is a tough one. Many of us may still be paying off vast student loans and so we’re not really in a position to be hugely generous. We have no wish to throw you further into debt. But if we can afford to eat out and buy a round at the pub we can probably afford to pay for church. I’ve said before that it’s more important to give something, however small, than wait until we feel we can give a ‘real’ amount. Start small and increase it over time.

6. We don’t give because some of us are faithless

We’re not convinced that God can look after us if we use the money He’s given us for gospel ministry. Of course, it could be that we’re selfish and we’d prefer to fund the comfortable lifestyle that we’ve grown accustomed to rather than build the Kingdom of God. But we know that’s not the way to use the money He’s entrusted to us. Usually we’re scared. We’re scared about the future and we’re convinced that money will make us immune to whatever life throws at us. Of course, we must be wise and make financial provision for the future. That’s especially true if we have dependents. But we need to remember that it would be odd for God to require us to finance gospel work in the present and then not look after us when we need Him to in the future. We need to trust God’s word on the matter. In Matthew 6 Jesus said, ‘31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

We must remember that God is no less concerned for us today than he was on Good Friday when His Son died for us.